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About me

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This is the last photo of me before being sent to The Family at age 15.

If you are on this page, you probably know what I See You, Survivor is about, but if not, let me break it down for you. The book is in three parts: the 993 days of abuse I suffered in a troubled teen “school” called The Family in upstate New York; the subsequent decade plus of abusive relationships, self-destructive anxiety, paranoia and poverty that destroyed my marriages and my career; and, finally, the breakthrough to hope and purpose I found in pursuing justice and helping my fellow survivors. It is a straight-forward, raw, and honest account (no sugar-coating, this is the hard, hard truth) of the trauma of attack “therapies” and the profound effect that trauma has had on my life–and by extension the millions of other kids who have gone through these programs. 

I didn’t tell this story because I wanted to. I told it because I had to. Four of my best friends died because of what happened to them at The Family, and the weight of the abuse we suffered–the nightmares, physical injuries, shame, guilt, self-blame and anger–was destroying me, too. 

I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.

I don’t want anyone, ever, to be sent to another Troubled Teen school.

And I don’t want anyone who has been abused to feel that they are alone, or that everyone blames them, or that no one understands why their lives are such a mess. 

I’ve been there. I’ve lost everything in my life over and over again, and even when I knew it wasn’t my fault–and honestly, yeah, a lot of times, it was my fault–I always blamed myself.

So this book is my message, shouted as loud as I can shout it: You are not alone. You are not unloved. You are not evil or bad or irreparably broken. They are evil–the ones who hurt us, and the ones who won’t listen. (And yes, I mean our parents, too.) It’s not easy, I won’t lie. It’s hard knowing it’s out there now: all my pain, all my fears, and all my fuck-ups. But I know that if we keep telling our stories, the world will hear us, and the world will change.

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